Sugar Shock
by gods-of-war
Summary: After a mission, Tony is out of sorts. Mass amounts of sugar help him cope


Author's note: I don't own these characters and make no profit from this. All due respect to Marvel.

Rated Teen for mild foul language and mentions of condoms.

Pepper knew something was brewing. Like a thunderstorm on the horizon, you could just feel it in the air. Tony had come back from a mission with some hellacious damage to the suit, and she had waited almost two hours after he had returned before she went down to the workshop.

She found him sitting on the floor in only his boxer briefs and covered in cooling sweat. His knees were drawn up to his chest, head hanging and hands flat on the floor. There were the beginnings of bruises along his shoulders and forearms. Pepper felt her blood turn to ice and her stomach drop.

The armor was laying in smoldering pieces on the platform. As with every other mission he went out on, Pepper wondered what she should ask. Was there anything she should say? Eventually she'd know the details, the S.H.E.I.L.D briefings were sometimes the only way she learned what Tony did when he went out. The eternal struggle of those left behind; do you ask to try to help them carry the burden or let them be? Time to test the waters. Pepper had learned very early that soft tones did not help him. IT was best to be matter of fact, as if it was just another day in the business of being a "super hero."

"Tony?" voice calm, even, just checking to see if you are in the room.

The few moments of silence dragged out until,

"Potts, you had better have a frosty beverage with a little novelty umbrella." But it was said flatly, an automatic snark.

Pepper went to the mini fridge pulled out a bottle of Gatorade, walked it over to Tony and put it on the floor by his hand.

"No blue?"

"No, looks like purple," Pepper said matter of fact.

"But blue is my favorite flavor," Tony said slowly reaching for the bottle.

"Blue is a color and not a flavor," Pepper reminded him mildly.

"Tell that to the sport drink people," Tony said sourly as he opened the bottle and chugged a quarter of it.

Dummy rolled up from behind Pepper with a towel clenched firmly in its robotic grip. It dropped the towel into Tony's outstretched hand and somehow managed to roll away conveying a sense of contrite worry. Tony started to towel himself off gingerly.

Pepper stood idly thumbing through appointments and messages on her Blackberry. She could feel Tony watching her but she didn't look up until she was done.

"Do you need something, other than a shower that is?"

Tony tossed her a half-hearted grin, "Someone to scrub my back?"

"I'm sure Butterfingers or Dummy would be available."

Tony frowned, "Their claw thingies feel all weird, like the corpses of rubber duckies."

Pepper stared at him, "I don't. . . That's just not right." Was all she could manage.

She watched as Tony heaved himself off the floor, it looked painful. He stood, wobbled for a moment, but recovered. He gave Pepper a slight grin, tossed the towel over his shoulder and continued to chug the sports drink. When the bottle was empty he tossed onto the nearest workbench.

"Blue is totally a flavor Pepper. Like red or purple."

"Nothing in nature is that color Tony," Pepper said calmly as she headed up stairs. "I have a staff meeting to attend in an hour. . ."

"Whose staff?" Tony asked as he followed her.

"Mine, actually." Pepper said matter of factly.

"You have assistants? But you're an assistant," Tony said incredulously.

Pepper shot him a look over her shoulder. "And you're the head of a billion dollar industry who puts on a suit to battle evil doers, both foreign and domestic. And if you can't be in two places at once, than I, your mere humble 'assistant' cannot be expected to."

"So you have people?"

"I do," Pepper said primly. "And I have to meet with them occasionally to see how things are. Rhodey will be here shortly, you have a planning session with him concerning the new security for the Helicarrier Hanger."

"Oh. Ok. But what about blueberries? They're blue."

"No, they are purple, only the name has the color association. Plus blue is never the flavor of blueberries anyway. It's normally raspberry."

"Ahhhh," Tony said waggling his finger at her. "Raspberries are blue."

"No," Pepper said mildly as they reached the main floor, "those are purple too, or sometimes red."

"We need to test this hypothesis!" Tony exclaimed as he practically danced behind Pepper like an over excited puppy. "What kind of candy do we have?"

Pepper stopped in her tracks, and turning to face him she narrowed her eyes, "Oh no you don't Tony. I will not have a repeat of the 'Skittles incident' any time soon."

Tony could hear the quotations clang around the term 'Skittles incident'.

"It wasn't that bad," he mumbled at the ceiling.

Pepper crossed her arms and cocked her hip at him, daring him to contradict her. Tony had become obsessed with some new redesign for the suit and had locked himself in the workshop with a pot of coffee and a one pound bag of skittles. After almost 30 straight hours Pepper was able to get back into the lab only to find Tony practically vibrating and giving so many contradictory orders to Dummy and Butterfingers that they were doing nothing but helplessly spinning in circles. Then Tony fell over. He later slept for almost 14 hours and in that time Pepper waged a righteous and holy war against all processed sugar in the house, purging it's unholy form from the residence forever.

"But we need. . ." he began. Pepper cut him off.

"Oh no, 'we' need to do nothing of the sort. 'I' need to get to my meeting. And you," Pepper narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "need to take a shower and eat something. Pants would also probably be a good idea."

Pepper picked up her bag and headed to the door, she passed Rhodey on the way out.

"He's all yours," she told him in exasperation.

"Hey Tony," Rhodey said, "What was that all about?"

Tony shrugged, "Pepper is refusing to help test a breakthrough scientific theory. But how do you feel about testing for the good of science?"

Rhodey didn't like the look in Tony's eye. He knew it too well. "Oh no! I refuse to relive the debacle that was your idea of studying for our physics final. How strippers ever fit into the equation I still don't understand, but I was so hung over I barely made it to the test let alone through the test." In an attempt to distract Tony from his idea Rhodey asked, "How did your mission go?"

Tony froze and it was like a door had slammed shut inside him. His face became blank and he crossed his arms staring beyond Rhodey at nothing in particular. It was then Rhodey noticed the bruising on Tony's shoulders and forearms. He sighed. Tony was a good guy deep down, even though it took a near death experience to bring that goodness a little closer to the surface. But Rhodey sometimes doubted if Tony had the ability to compartmentalize like a soldier needed to. He tried to save everybody, believing that if he just tried hard enough, or if the suit were only better that he could do it. Only madness lay at the end of that road and it scared him. And it scared Tony too by the looks of it.

Rhodey gave another inward sigh. Maybe he could go along with it for an hour or so.

"What do you have in mind?" Rhodey asked trying to hide his trepidation.

Tony scowled at him, "Now you are just humoring me, you really don't care if we can prove my hypothesis."

"No I care," Rhodey said wearily.

"Seriously?" Rhodey nodded. "Great! Let's go!"

Tony headed for the door.

"Uh, Tony? 'No Shoes, no shirt, no service'."

Tony looked down as if suddenly surprised that he was only wearing underwear.

"Oh, riiiiiiight."

Hours later Pepper returned, slightly irritated and very tired. She was planning on getting just another hour of work done and then going home, possibly to scream and bang her head against the wall. They meant well, they really did. She opened the door and,

"What in the hell?"

The house was a disaster, furniture overturned, there was music blaring, it sounded like the Clash, or maybe the Sex Pistols. It was too hard to tell at that decibel level.

"Jarvis!" Pepper screamed above the din, "Turn that fucking music off!"

The sudden quiet rang throughout the house. Stunned, Pepper walked further into the house, she came to the kitchen.

"Oh no."

There was sugar everywhere. It covered almost every surface, a fine, gritty and sticky dust. The counters were littered with countless packages of Pixi Stix, Pop Rocks, and Fun Dip. Not to mention bags of licorice, and cans and cans of Coke, Mt. Dew, and Dr. Pepper. Cans had been knocked over and a brown and sticky lake had formed on one counter. It was as if a kid had run riot in a candy store. Pepper sighed, one had actually. But he hadn't just run riot, he'd bought it all, brought it home and dumped it out on the counter and tried to eat it in one go.

Oh, god. Where were they? There was no way Tony would have done this by himself. He had some how managed to talk Rhodey into it. Not that it was hard for him to talk Rhodey into things sometimes.

Then she heard them. There was a whoop, a crash, an expletive and the sound of running feet. Tony came tearing into the room wearing only a pair of old torn jeans and a sugar fueled manic expression. Rhodey was hard on his heels. Rhodey had no shoes or socks on, and his t-shirt had a huge wet brown stain, soda, Pepper fervently hoped. He held some sort of white ball in his hand and it was obvious that he was trying to hit Tony with it.

"!" Tony cried in delight and charged at her. Pepper was so stunned that she just stood there frozen. Tony came at her, and to her surprise, spun behind her and started using her as a human shield. His hands clamped on her shoulders so she couldn't get away.

Pepper kept trying to turn to look at him, but he remained behind her laughing like a loon. His hands were sticky she noticed. Covered in a fine blue dust, with patches of soda drying on his skin. He looked like a harbinger of diabetic doom.

"Hahaha!" He laughed manically at Rhodey, who was circling trying to get a clear shot. But Tony steered Pepper before him, ducking his head behind her shoulders and peering around her. Pepper could feel Tony's body vibrating from the sugar rush.

"Can't get me Sugar Smack," he taunted sweetly at Rhodey, "Pepper's safe. Can't have her be a victim of friendly fire."

Rhodey gave a low grumble in his chest, and Pepper saw that his eyes were a bit glassy from his sugar intake as well.

"Not fair Tony," he said, continuing to dodge and weave.

"Alls fair in love and war Jelly Belly!"

Pepper kept trying to see what was in his hand.

"What is going on here? Other than that you two are both out of your minds!" Pepper demanded loudly.

Both men stopped suddenly. Rhodey stood facing Pepper, and quickly put the hand that was holding, whatever it was, behind his back. Tony giggled quietly from behind Pepper.

Pepper had been a camp counselor for a few summers while in high school and college. And dealing with the aftermath of 15 adolescents in a cabin on a rainy day was a walk in the park compared to this devastation. Squaring her shoulders as much as she could with Tony's jittery hands clamped on them, she stared at Rhodey.

"What's behind your back Col. Rhodes?" her tone was stern.

To Pepper's amazement Rhodey actually flushed and looked away, "Nothing," he mumbled almost inaudibly. Tony had another fit a giggles.

"Show me."

"I dunno," his tone was reluctant.

"Come on Sour Patch, show her," Tony teased. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet grinning. His movement jarring Pepper's body.

Pepper turned and shot Tony a withering look. The grin faded slightly, and he gave a few intermittent giggles. The bouncing slowed, then stopped. He slowly took his hands off of Pepper's shoulders leaving, to Peppers building molten rage, sugary handprints on her shirt. She would deal with him next. God! There was even a sticky film on the arc reactor! Had he been rolling in Pixi Stix?

"James, show me what's behind your back." Yeah, she still had the counselor tone, she thought. Rhodey shifted uneasily, and finally, shooting Tony a look brought his hand from behind his back.

It was a water balloon. Made from a condom. Pepper stared at it. She stared at Rhodey. Rhodey stared at the floor.

"Seriously? What are you guys? Twelve?" Pepper wasn't embarrassed. She knew they were Tony's brand for crying out loud, having seen enough used ones flung around the house like confetti. But it was just the sheer idiocy, the staggering childishness of it all. She rubbed her eyes with her fingertips.

"Ribbed for her pleasure," Tony hooted from behind her. His laughter definitely reminded Pepper of being at camp.

Pepper heard Rhodey give a snort. Then he started too. She stood there, watching them, two grown men bent over almost double with hysterics. Part of her wanted to scream, but she caught a very faint hint of desperation in Tony's laugh, and her heart hurt just a little bit. And honestly she would rather have him be jacked on sugar than drinking straight from a bottle of scotch. Pepper came to a decision.

"You know what?" she said with forced cheer, "I don't care. All of this," she gestured at the glucose ruins, "is not my problem. It had just better be cleaned up by tomorrow is all I am saying. I am going home."

"But Pepper," Tony said stepping in front of her. "I think I've solved the time travel issue. It's all about harmonics and if I can get the suit to vibrate to the. . ."

Pepper held up a hand. On closer inspection Tony was an absolute train wreck. Patches of his hair were standing straight up in sugary spikes and had a faint dusting of blue sugar. It was in his hair, it was in patches in his goatee. His eyes had a slightly glassy look and he was practically shivering he was so amped.

"Time travel issue? . . Nope. Not interested. But I will be calling your dentist tomorrow. . . are your lips blue?"

Tony grinned. "Probably. My tongue is too, wanna see?" And before Pepper could say anything he stuck his tongue out at her. It was indeed blue. "Rhodey's is red," Tony continued, "Show her Fun Dip."

Pepper didn't turn to look, she just started to for the door. After a few steps she turned and glared at them.

"All of this is gone by tomorrow."

"See Platypus, I told you she'd be cool," Tony said, starting to bounce again.

"Don't call me that," Rhodey snapped.

"Platypus."

"That's it!" Rhodey snarled and lunged for Tony.

Tony in his sugar fueled state was quick. With a laugh he dodged Rhodey easily and took off at a sprint across the foyer to the living room. Rhodey was only half a step behind, water balloon at the ready. Rhodey vaulted a low table and tackled Tony. They hit the floor and started to wrestle.

"Ow quit it!"

"Don't call me Platypus!"

"Platy- OW!"

"Say Uncle!"

"Never!"

Pepper watched in amusement. She had seen Tony and Rhodey play fight before. It never ceased to amaze her that inflicting mild pain seemed to be a form of fun for men. Her guy friends in high school and college had been no different. But now, of the two men fighting on the floor, one was a Air Force Colonel and the other a billionaire genius that climbed into a flying suit of armor.

There was a small popping sound followed by a "Awwww maaaaaan" from both men. They broke their clinch and it was obvious that Rhodey's aquatic and latex weapon had fulfilled its ultimate goal. Both were soaked from their chests to the crotches of their pants. They looked down at themselves in disgust.

Pepper couldn't help herself. It was just too much. Her laughter made them both turn and stare at her.

"Don't mind me," she gasped, "you boys continue with you foreplay. Don't worry Rhodey, it happens to all guys at some point. Just give it about fifteen minutes. Remember to play safe!"

The look of absolute horror on their faces when her meaning dawned on them was priceless. That would keep her laughing for weeks. She turned back to the door. In retrospect, that had been a mistake. She was laughing too hard and never heard them coming.

Pepper gave a strangled squeak as she felt her legs being pulled out from under her. That had been Rhodey. He had simply grabbed her knees and picked them up. She fell back only to be caught under the arms by Tony.

"Put me down!" she said angrily. Pepper struggled but they were both very strong. "James Rupert Rhodes! Anthony Edward Stark! Put me down this instant!"

They had started walking her back through the house towards the glass doors that led. . . Oh no.

"Dude," Tony drawled as he tightened his grip on the squirming Pepper, "Your middle name is Rupert? I did not know that."

"Yeah shut it," Rhodey grumbled as he barely managed to avoid getting stabbed by the high heel on one of Pepper's shoes.

"I swear to god," Pepper said as she struggled harder, "if you guys are planning what I think you are. . ."

They grinned at her.

"Jarvis," Tony called sweetly, "open patio door."

"Don't do it Jarvis," Pepper wailed desperately.

"Don't make have to run a diagnostic on you!" Tony growled at the AI.

"I do apologize Ms. Potts, but. . ." the house AI began in a cool tone.

"I though we were friends!" Pepper said in despair.

The door to the patio slid silently open. Pepper stopped her struggling as they went through the door, she didn't want anyone, especially herself, to get hurt. But as soon as they were through she gave a tremendous full body thrash. She almost managed it, but both men were able to hang on. The reached the edge of the pool.

"C'mon guys," Pepper wheedled, "it was just a joke!"

They started to swing her.

"ONE!" they both chanted gleefully.

"Please guys!"

"TWO!" they were laughing now.

"This suit is dry clean only!"

"I'll buy you a new one." Tony said with a grin.

"THREE!"

And they let go. There was that moment of weightlessness in the free fall. Pepper watched them laughing at her before the surface of the pool closed in over her. Fortunately the pool was heated so it wasn't much of a shock. Pepper allowed herself to sink for a moment. Her shoes came off and headed for the bottom of the pool. Pepper floated underwater trying to find her center of calm.

I will not freak out, I will not freak out, I will not freak out, Pepper chanted to herself as she gave a strong kick and headed to the surface.

The sound of Tony and Rhodey's laughter met her ears as she broke the surface. She treaded water, the weight of her clothes a heavy resistance. She glared daggers at them, and with as much dignity as she could muster said,

"My shoes are currently at the bottom of the pool. One of you will get them for me before they are completely ruined."

The riotous laughter slowly lessened into stifled snickering and finally trailed off. Rhodey wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and gave Pepper a sheepish grin. Tony meanwhile had his hand over his eyes and was shaking with silent laughter. He recovered after another moment, shoved his hands in his pockets and started to bounce on the balls of his feet again.

"Ms. Potts, it appears that you have gotten a bit damp," he grinned at her.

"Really Mr. Stark?" Pepper said as nonchalantly as she could while swimming towards the shallow end, "I hadn't noticed."

Eventually her feet touched the bottom and she proceeded to wade towards the pool steps. Pepper raked her hands through her wet hair, pulling it out of her face. Her clothes clung to her and she tried to not become self-conscious of it. She seized upon some of her simmering anger from earlier. Crossing her arms over he chest she pinned them both with another hard stare.

"My shoes," she repeated slowly, glaring from Tony to Rhodey, "will not retrieve them selves from the bottom of the pool."

Pepper sloshed with rapidly fraying dignity up the pool steps and climbed out, water sleeting off her clothes. God this was awful, Pepper thought. And while it wasn't cold, being soaked to the bone and in wet clothes, she started to shiver.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked, hands free of his pockets now and absentmindedly swinging his arms.

"Inside," Pepper snapped. "Shoes, now."

"You heard the lady!" Tony said cheerfully, "Everybody into the pool!" And with that he stripped of his jeans and then made a careful show of folding them neatly and gently placing them on the ground.

"Why are you still wearing pants?" Tony asked Rhodey.

"What?" Rhodey asked in confusion.

"Either take them off of go into the pool with them," Tony said as he advanced on Rhodey.

"Oooookay Tony," Rhodey said suddenly wary, "just ease back man."

Tony lunged at him, grabbing him by his shirt and trying to pull it over his head. Rhodey struggled, but he couldn't break free.

"What the fuck Tony? Chill dude!" Rhodey said as he wriggled free, but his shirt came off in Tony's hands.

Tony's grin was slightly crazed and Rhodey started to back up, hands up to ward Tony off.

"Take em off or I'll do it for you," Tony said as he made a swipe for Rhodey's belt.

"Christ Tony! Now I know what some of your dates went through freshman year," he was starting to worry a bit. Tony was looking a little unhinged. "Um Pepper? A little help here?"

"Ohhhh no," Pepper said in amusement as she dripped by the door "you helped get him like this."

"I didn't force for him to eat 6 packs of Pop Rocks, a pound of Pixi Stix and wash them down with three Cokes back to back." Rhodey said desperately as he and Tony started to circle each other by the side of the pool.

" But you didn't stop him either."

"I can hear you both you know," Tony called as he made a lunge for Rhodey and missed.

"No means no Tony!" Rhodey said with a smile as he slapped Tony away.

"What do you think Col. Rhodes is hiding Pepper?" Tony called with a laugh. "Are you going commando? Are you wearing tighty whitys or something?" Tony stopped suddenly and put his hand on his hips, giving his friend a knowing look. "You're wearing a thong aren't you?"

"What?" Rhodey stopped and stared at Tony in bewilderment. "I am not."

"I bet its leopard print! C'mon Tarzan, let's see. Don't you want to show Pepper?" And with that Tony jumped at Rhodey, caught him at chest level and drove them both backwards into the pool.

The splash was huge. After almost a minute the ripples subsided, but neither Tony nor Rhodey surfaced. Pepper began to feel cold fear clamp itself around her stomach. She had just taken a step towards the pool when the surface erupted and both Tony and Rhodey appeared.

"Jackass!" Rhodey yelled at Tony. "What the fuck man?"

"You just don't know how to have fun," Tony said. "I got your shoes Pepper!" He proudly held up her poor bedraggled peep toe stilettos.

Pepper sighed. She started to shiver harder. "That's nice Tony. Good for you. I'm going inside. Try not to drown each other."

She turned her back on them, the sounds of Tony's delirious hoots of laughter, Rhodey's colorful expletives, and splashing followed her inside. She shut the door and it was blissfully quiet. Irritated and worried, she squished her way to her office, hoping that she had left some spare clothes there.

Pepper reached her office trying very hard not to feel guilty over leaving wet footprints, because, after all, they threw her into the pool. They. Threw. Her. Into. The. Pool. She didn't know how to feel about this. Granted Rhodey was now getting his, but her shoes, her poor shoes. There would be a reckoning for this. She unlocked her desk and checked the largest drawer. It was here that she kept all of her emergency supplies, small make-up bag, some tampons, granola bars and the like. If she remembered correctly, there had been some discussion of having to go to Nevada to see some testing of the new S.H.E.I.L.D aircraft. . .

Ah, there in a small bag was a pair of khakis, a short sleeved blouse and, yes even a pair of flats. Then she realized she had no spare bra or panties. She had never kept those types of items here, because really that was just too weird, and she shuddered to think what would happen if they were ever found. Not that she thought that Tony would break into her desk – be she kept in unlocked during the day and if she stepped out for a moment – you just never knew. So Pepper weighted her options for a moment. It sort of defeated the purpose of putting on dry close only to have them get wet again, and it would be noticed with the khakis. Sigh, god help her, there was nothing for it – commando it was.

Pepper sloshed to the bathroom, took a quick shower to wash of the chlorine of the pool, dried off and changed. She hung her suit up to dry over the towel rack, but wrapped her wet under things in a towel. She would smuggle them out when she left. Pepper washed off her ruined make-up, applied a tiny bit of foundation and some lip-gloss. She felt put back together, and it was good to be warm and dry again. Her hair was still damp, but she would live. Taking the towel wrapped intimates and her shoes she headed down stairs.

She found Tony sitting at the kitchen counter. Most of the wreckage was gone, she was positive Rhodey had taken care of that. But Tony had still managed to make a new mess. He had opened at least half a dozen Pixi Stix, poured them on the counter and created a sugary version of an Etch-A-Sketch. There was no grand design. He was just absently making shapes with his fingers, smoothing out the surface, and doing it again.

It looked like he was starting to crash. Tony had put his jeans back on, but had left his sodden boxer briefs outside by the pool next to her poor drowned shoes. If nothing else, than at least the swim had cleaned him up a bit, Pepper though. Most of the frosting he had acquired earlier was gone, but his hair still had a sticky look to it and was standing up in clumps where Tony had absentmindedly run his hands through it. The bruises on his shoulders and forearms were starting to become an angrier shade of purple.

There was coffee brewing, also probably Rhodey's doing. It wasn't terribly late, just a little before 10, but Pepper felt exhausted. She went into the kitchen, got out a mug and poured herself a cup.

"Coffee's done," she said to Tony, "You want some?" She was studying him, and he looked almost wiped out.

Tony didn't look up from the counter, he just gave half a shrug. Pepper took that for a 'yes' and started to get a mug ready for him. Rhodey came back into the kitchen. He had obviously borrowed some clothes from Tony's closet. A pair of running shorts and a T-shirt, both were just a little small for him. His wet clothes were wrapped in a bundle in his hand. He gave Pepper an apologetic grin. Pepper didn't dignify it with a response, instead she just got out a mug for him and handed it across. He could pour his own damn coffee.

Pepper put the mug down in front of Tony. He stopped his doodling, and using his hands swept all of the Pixi Stix dust into a pile at the edge of the counter. Then to both Pepper's and Rhodey horror and disgust, he took his mug and putting it at the counter's edge, swept the colored sugar into it. Tony gave his mug a few swirls and took a sip.

"That's awesome," he said. He grinned at their expressions. But his voice had lost its hyper edge. He sounded tired. "You guys should try it. The breakfast of champions." He took another swig and stared off into space. He's crashing hard Pepper realized.

"Have you eaten anything recently that wasn't made entirely from high fructose corn syrup and food dyes?" Pepper asked.

Tony leaned his elbows on the counter and gave another half shrug.

"Are you hungry?"

Another shrug. Pepper counted to 10. He needed to eat, he needed to sleep. She often marveled to herself on Tony's ability to go on past the point of all good sense and reason. Pepper glanced at Rhodey, his face reflecting her concern. Tony could very well drop dead in the traces one day, considering how hard he pushed himself sometimes. And there were times that you had to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, Pepper thought. So be it.

"How about I make you a grilled cheese sandwich?"

Tony's drooping head snapped up, there was a gleam of delight in his eyes and a slow almost lustful smile spread across his face. Pepper as a general practice did not make Tony hot lunches, or lunches at all for that matter. She would order out yes, and if it were apparent that he hadn't eaten in longer than was sensible, maybe she would slap together something for him that usually involved cold cuts. It was a rarity indeed that she made him something like this, usually only if he was ill, which didn't happen too often. She didn't want him to think it was something to expect.

"Really? You wouldn't tease me like that would you Potts?" Tony turned to Rhodey and waggled his eyebrows. "Awesome."

Pepper turned towards the fridge to hide her smile. Hearing Tony use the term 'awesome' always made her think of an old college friend's nine year old. She started to put together what she needed.

"If you want one too Rhodey, you had better hop to it and clean some counter space for me, as well as the stove."

"Yes ma'am," Rhodey said with a salute. He had been privileged to have been around once for one of Pepper's rounds of cheese grilling. The memory stuck with him like a tantalizing dream in bread and cheese. He grabbed a towel and started to clean.

In theory, Tony thought, it was only bread and cheese. There was nothing strange or different that Pepper did to it that he could see. And he was watching her now, fingers tapping softly on the counter in his impatience. But there was some x factor involved, and only Pepper knew what it was, that turned the mundane into the extraordinary. He watched as she patiently grilled one side, and with out timing it, some sixth sense told her the perfect moment to flip it to achieve the perfect level of buttered toasty-ness on each side. There was probably some explanation to this using thermodynamics, but right now he felt so jittery and off center he couldn't start to try and do the equations in his head.

She usually only made these for him when he was sick. And he often thought that maybe infecting himself with small pox or the bubonic plague, hell even leprosy, would be worth it just to have Pepper make theses for him everyday that he battled a disfiguring and possibly fatal disease. And right about now Tony felt like he was going to rattle himself apart. So maybe that counted in Pepper's book.

Tony felt on edge but exhausted at the same time. A good analogy would be going 80 miles an hour in second gear. But maybe he had stripped all of his gears, and there were no brakes either. Had their ever been? Everything in his life now was seen through the lens of "Before Afghanistan" and "After Afghanistan". Even that was split into sub categories of "Before Iron Man" and "After Iron Man". Tony leaned his elbows on the counter and rested his head in his hands. He hurt, almost everywhere. It would actually be easier to categorize where he didn't hurt.

Rhodey and Pepper were staring at him, Tony could feel it, and trading concerned looks. He hated that they thought that he wasn't strong enough to do this. Rhodey because he lacked military training, and Pepper because. . . That one was harder to figure. Because she had seen him at his most selfish, ego-maniacal, self-centered and frivolous. But wasn't he proving that he was changing? That he had changed? He was being responsible. He was saving lives! Tony shifted in his seat and pain seared its way from his shoulders, down his back, and into his knees. Can you mix painkillers and insane quantities of sugar?

A plate appeared before him, and Tony grinned. It was his grilled cheese, perfect in it's bread to cheese to butter ratios. Pepper had even cut it diagonally and taken off the crusts. He looked up at her, she was handing Rhodey his plate, but Rhodey's sandwich was whole and still in possession of it's crusts. Pepper was pretending not to see that he was staring at her. She was truly humoring him. She must be worried. Tony felt a stab of guilt over the fact that he had thrown her into the pool. But it was one on a very long list of transgressions upon the good will of one Virginia Potts.

The whole issue of directional sandwich slicing and crust inclusion or exclusion had happened, what maybe two years ago? Tony couldn't remember exactly, but it was firmly placed in the "Before Afghanistan" box. It had been a bad week, mergers, take-over threats or something. So of course Tony had let Obie take care of it and had locked himself in the workshop to work on a project car. He had emerged, only under duress and with Pepper snapping at his heels, for a press conference that lasted all of 10 minutes. Then Tony had head straight back to his man cave to let everything blow over. But it had been high stress all the way, him causing most of it for Pepper.

He hadn't eaten in who knows how long, a day maybe? It was the end of a very long and trying day for her, but Pepper had brought him down a sandwich. Probably only because she didn't want to find him dead in the morning, having passed out and fallen ioto a power tool, and have to write that press release. Pepper had brought it down and put the plate on the workbench and turned to go. But Tony just couldn't let a good deed go unpunished, so he had snapped,

"What the fuck is that?"

Pepper turned, her calm a mere shimmering veneer over her anger and impatience. "A sandwich. I have heard that they are all the rage these days. People eat them when they are hungry."

"I don't want it."

"And why would that be? On a new diet? The scotch and espresso diet maybe?" Pepper's tone was cool and curious.

Tony like baiting Pepper, but they both should have know better at this point.

"You didn't make it right," Tony had said condescendingly, "I had thought you were capable of at least that."

"I see," her words could have frozen the air between them. Iceberg dead ahead, and Tony just sailed on, not unlike the Titanic. "And what precisely, Mr. Stark, is your issue with it?"

Tony could have shaped diamonds on the way she had said 'Mr. Stark', but he just had to have the last word. "Everyone knows, Ms. Potts, that for sandwiches in any form to be edible, they must be cut on the diagonal with the crusts removed."

They stared at each other. Tony's tone had been know to make the lesser office personnel break into tears, both men and women. But Pepper just stood there and stared at him. Her rage at him and his behavior never breaking her visage of cool professionalism. Without a word, she put down her note pad, stalked elegantly over to the workbench and scanned it until she found the object of her search. She picked up the hacksaw blade, returned to the sandwich and proceeded to perform brutal battlefield surgery on it. When done she stepped back, cocked her hip and tapping the sandwich gore covered saw blade against her palm. She said, "Do you require anything else, Mr. Stark?" in a tone so withering that for a split second Tony was afraid that his testicles might retract.

Tony said nothing. He didn't trust himself to. And the way Pepper was handling that blade made him wonder if, should Pepper Potts ever be so inclined, if anyone would ever find his body? Hell, she could probably work it so that no one would even know that he was missing for at least a month before he had a 'tragic accident'. The silence stretched. After a few seconds, Pepper put the blade down with a menacing 'clang' and retrieving her notepad went upstairs. Tony ate the sandwich fifteen minutes later. It had taken him almost a week to get back in her good graces after that one. The freeze out wasn't noticed by anyone other than himself, and possibly Obadiah Stane, but Tony couldn't be certain. Neither Tony nor Pepper ever mentioned the incident again.

Tony stared at his sandwich for a moment, contemplating its glories.

"If you're not going to eat that Tony," Rhodey said with his mouth full, reaching for the plate, "I'll just. . ."

Tony barred his teeth at Rhodey and gave a deep chested growl. "Mine!" he said as he pulled his plate closer. Eyeing Rhodey with mistrust, Tony picked up half of his sandwich and made an honest attempt to put the whole thing in his mouth.

"Oooohhhsooogood," he mumbled around his gullet full of bread and cheese.

Pepper stood leaning against the counter trying hard to hide her laugh. Tony gave her a cheek bulging grin. Rhodey, half-eaten sandwich in one hand, reached out and took Pepper's hand.

"Pepper Potts," Rhodey said with feigned seriousness, "I love you!"

Pepper laughed, "Jim, this is a side of you I've never seen."

"Don't laugh, or you'll break my heart! I love you for your beauty and your many skills."

"Sandwich making skills, maybe," Pepper scoffed.

"Marry me!"

Tony made a choking noise and started to cough. Pepper laughed again and Rhodey grinned.

Pepper cocked an eyebrow at Rhodey, "And your love would endure as long as the supply of grilled cheese?"

Rhodey dropped her hand and put his own over his heart in a wounded manner, "Have you no faith in my declarations of undying love?

"Ha!" Pepper smirked, she gestured to the still coughing Tony, who was turning a bright shade of red, "not even Tony believes you." She reached over and pounded Tony on the back. Tony gave one final cough and managed to swallow his mouthful of sandwich.

"So are you engaged now?" Tony said in a strained voice, eyes watering. He wasn't sure what the look on his face was, but it had both Pepper and Rhodey laughing.

To cover whatever it was they saw, Tony gave a cocky grin and said, "Sorry Rhodey, I can't let you have her, I mean, my grilled cheese supplier. I will have to kill you."

Rhodey laughed, "You and what army?"

Tony smiled serenely, "I am an army remember?"

Rhodey frowned, "Hm. Good point. Sorry Pepper, I don't think it's meant to be. Can you go on without me?"

Pepper gave Rhodey's shoulder a playful slap. "I think I can manage," she turned and gave Tony a stern look, "You need to play nice and learn to share."

Tony stuck out his lower lip in a pout, "Nuh-uh," he took another bite of grilled cheese and gave her an intense look, "I don't wanna."

"Hm," Pepper said appearing to ponder something for a moment. But after a moment she just shook her head and said to Tony, "finish your sandwich."

Pepper and Rhodey were cleaning up when Tony started to tell them about his earlier mission. They didn't prompt him, he just started speaking in a low tone. They both stopped and turned to face him. He was sitting very still hunched over at the counter looking at his hands as he drew shapes on the counter surface with his fingers. He told them about the terror group, and how there had been an ambush. How the Blackhawk Helicopter had been shot down and he had only been able to get one of the pilots out. How he had heard the other pilot over the radio screaming as he died.

Pepper had shuddered at this, but had said nothing, Rhodey just put his arm around her. Tony then told them about how they had tried to run him and the injured pilot down with a truck. He had sheltered the pilot with his body, taking the impact of the vehicle across his shoulders and forearms. There had been an explosion. Eventually the installation had been destroyed and the pilot rescued and shipped to the hospital. Tony had stayed to recover the remains of the other pilot.

"But there wasn't much left," Tony said quietly, his voice cracking. He put his head in his hands and lapsed into silence.

There wasn't much to be said after that. Rhodey gathered his things and went to leave. But before he headed for the door Rhodey went over to Tony and placing a hand gently on his friend's back said quietly, "You did a good job Tony."

Tony didn't move from his hunched position at the bar, but he gave a very small nod of his head. Rhodey gave his back one more gentle pat and headed to the door. Pepper was waiting there for him.

"Drive safe, Jim," she said with a smile, "Thanks for being here."

Rhodey gave a nod, "Yeah. Be safe yourself. Thanks for the sandwich. And um, Pepper," he gave her a sheepish grin, "sorry about the whole pool thing."

Pepper just gave him a cool smile. "Uh-huh."

"You're plotting revenge as we speak aren't you?"

Another smile, "Oh indeed I am."

"Ah. Um well. Guess I will see you later then."

"Yes. Yes you will." Pepper gave Rhodey a bright smile as he nervously walked out the door and she shut it behind him.

The house was eerily quiet. Pepper returned to the kitchen where Tony sat in silence. She stood next to him at the counter.

"It's late," Pepper said quietly.

"Yeah."

"You should get some sleep."

"Yeah."

With a heavy sigh Tony heaved himself painfully onto his feet. Pepper could hear his joints popping as he stood. He looked awful, Pepper thought, worn out and almost used up. He straightened his spine as much as he could and looking her in the eye gave a crooked grin.

"Blue is it's own flavor you know. We proved it."

"Really?" Pepper said mildly. She returned his smile.

"Yup. All blue tastes the same."

"And what does it taste like?"

"Blue." Tony gave her an impish, yet tired smile.

Pepper laughed softly. "Do me a favor," she said as she steered him towards his bedroom.

"What's that?"

"Now that you have proven your theory lay off the sugar for a while, ok? I don't think I have enough shoes to sacrifice to the pool gods."

It was Tony's turn to laugh. "Um, yeah," he looked a little chastened. "Sorry about that. I'll replace. . ."

But Pepper didn't let him finish, "Oh I know you will."

"You're taking this too well," Tony said with good humored suspicion. "You're plotting something aren't you?"

Pepper gave him an innocent smile, "I have no idea what you mean Mr. Stark. But you and Col. Rhodes seemed to be convinced of this."

They had reached the doorway to Tony's bedroom.

"You need to sleep," Pepper said. But part of her didn't know if he should be left alone. Tony must have read this in her expression.

"I'm fine," he said quietly. "Really."

They stood looking at each other. Then Pepper did something that surprised both of them. Taking Tony's face in her hand she stepped in close to him and rested her forehead against his. He smelled of the pool, sweat and sugar. Like a high school locker room Pepper thought. Closing her eyes for a moment Pepper felt Tony lean into her, they were both still for a moment, Pepper willing her strength into Tony.

"We're proud of you, Rhodey and I," Pepper paused, "I'm proud of you," she said softly.

Pepper's soft words hit Tony in a very deep part of himself. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't move, he was just caught there in that moment. Something burned behind his eyes and in his chest, and Tony had to swallow hard to keep it in check. Suddenly he just wanted to stay like this forever, to be this close with someone who was proud of him for his actions, not his money or fame. Tony wanted to lift his arms, to wrap them around Pepper and never let go. But he couldn't for so many reasons. The first and foremost being he wasn't sure if he could actually lift his arms at this point.

But Pepper, after another long minute of silence stepped back and let her hand drop back to her side. Opening her eyes, she saw that Tony looked a bit dazed, his eyes glazed and red. Was that just exhaustion and sugar she wondered.

"Get some rest," Pepper said with a smile. Tony could only nod. Pepper watched as he turned and disappeared into the darkness of the bedroom.

Pepper gathered her still damp clothes and headed to the door, but not before confiscating the rest of the candy from the kitchen.

"G'Night Jarvis," Pepper said as she reached the door.

"Good night Ms. Potts."

"Watch out for him."

"It is in my programming to do so," the cool voice of the AI stated.

Pepper left through the front door locking it behind her.

In the coming days, Tony's bruises faded to be replaced by new ones. The suit was repaired only to be in need of repair again. This was the way of things now. Pepper's suit and shoes were replaced and work continued on.

While Pepper had been sure that she had managed to purloin the remains of Tony's hoard, there were times that she was not so sure. There were a few mornings not so many days later that she found a fine dusting of colored sugar on one of the workbenches. A few of the abandoned coffee mugs had oddly colored and sweet smelling dregs. One afternoon she caught Tony giggling as he worked downstairs.

"If I didn't know better," Pepper had said sternly, "I would think that you were doing lines of Pixi Stix off the counters."

"Don't worry Potts," Tony said with a slightly manic grin, "Its just blow, nothing as bad for me as sugar."

Pepper threw her pen at him, and he giggled as he dodged it. She had searched for his sugar stash, even asking Jarvis, but she was not surprised when the AI proved uncooperative.

"C'mon Pepper," Tony teased as he had Butterfingers retrieve her pen for her, "it was a joke."

"It was so funny I can only laugh silently on the inside," Pepper said glaring at him.

"Well, you see, short of getting trained dolphins, I now have to continue my experiment and determine the scientific reasoning behind the flavor purple."

Pepper sighed audibly. "One again, purple is a color, not a flavor. Wait, trained dolphins?"

Tony just grinned and stuck his tongue out at her. It was purple.


End file.
